Process of Purifying Your Heart

by Muhammad Javed

{Excerpt from the book, Emotional Intelligence: Reflecting On The Prophetic Way}

The process of purification consists of multiple steps as is outlined in the picture above. In this article, we will be focusing on repenting and staying away from sins.

Stay away from sins (especially habitual sins that accumulate like backbiting / gossip, smoking cigarettes, forbidden gaze (porn / staring at woman etc.)), etc. as they add up and can have a chaotic impact on own spirituality and performance as time also get wasted and we slip into worse things.

Repent constantly for slipping into sins

We should constantly repent for falling into sins as all human are prone to error. Allah(swt) loves when his slaves turn to Him, admits his sins and repents through tawba and istigfar.

The negative situations and states we find ourselves in is because of our mistakes, sins and transgression as the Almighty states:

وَمَا أَصَابَكُم مِّن مُّصِيبَةٍ فَبِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِيكُمْ وَيَعْفُو عَن كَثِيرٍ - 42:30

“And whatever strikes you of disaster - it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much.” [42:30]

لَهُ مُعَقِّبَاتٌ مِّن بَيْنِ يَدَيْهِ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِ يَحْفَظُونَهُ مِنْ أَمْرِ اللَّهِ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ ۗ وَإِذَا أَرَادَ اللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ سُوءًا فَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُ ۚ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِ مِن وَالٍ - 13:11

“For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah. Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. And when Allah intends for a people ill, there is no repelling it. And there is not for them besides Him any patron.” [13:11]

            Sincere repentance causes the black stains accumulated by sins and transgressions and helps us stay spiritually fit and connected with Allah Azzawajal.

Staying Away From Sinful Habits

 A critical addiction, usually not paid attention to, is looking at what Allah ﷻ has forbidden. We will look into this example in detail, however, the principles can be applied to other sins as well.

The Law-giver has commanded:

“And tell the believing slaves (men) to lower their gaze (not look at women) and to protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is aware of what they do.” (24:20)

Here, Allah ﷻ beautifully provides the solution to the greatest addiction for men, looking (lustfully) at women which triggers desire in men and leads to satisfying those desires in unlawful/sinful means, such as watching pornographic material, masturbation or committing zina/adultery. Allah Almighty gives a beautiful remedy for guarding our chastity – to nip the problem in the bud, and not even look at non-mahram women and lower the gaze when someone passes by or while we are interacting with a non-mahram. As the saying goes, ‘All it takes is a smile’ and we all know where it might end up.

The interesting thing is that harmful gaze induces certain chemicals in the brain that are similar to addictive substances such as drugs and nicotine. No wonder it is so hard to let go off once one falls into that cycle.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has eloquently warned us saying, “Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”[1] (Conform by following upon the desire triggered by looking and committing zina or reject by stopping and not proceeding).

And the Prophet ﷺ also said: “Glances resemble a poisoned arrow of Shaytan.”[2]

Ibn al-Qayyim explains, “Iblis aims this arrow at the heart, but it meets a shield other than it. So the shield is lowering one’s eyesight or divergence from the direction of shooting. If you installed your heart as a target for the Shaytan, it would be killed by one of these poisoned arrows.”[3]

Hence, the fitna or temptation of women is very dangerous and can have a devastating impact. Shaikh Abdullah Al-Athari notes rhetorically that how many slaves of Allah ﷻ been changed into sinful deviants because of their desire. And how many scholars have been transformed due to their desire into ignorant misguided deviants. And how many people have left the straight path while they were formerly furthest from going astray?![4]

The noble Prophet ﷺ has aptly warned: “I have not left after me a fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.”[5]

The danger of this temptation is magnified in our age – when women are dressed yet naked. Promiscuity, lewdness, and women flaunting their bodies in the skimpiest of clothes have spread across the world in an unprecedented manner with the promulgation of ‘popular’ culture through television, movies and deviated pop stars who act as role models for the youth. With the television and internet accessible literally anywhere with smartphones, access to promiscuous photos or videos is just a finger-tip away. Furthermore, social media and chatting has enabled us to contact strangers easily and has made the road to zina easy; while the road to lawful means of engagement through marriage have been made difficult in most cultures by demanding exorbitant amounts of mahr and other conditions, leaving many men unable to marry until they are well into their 30’s, left in this wild forest of temptation lurking dangerously in every corner.

Hence, our salaf were so careful to avoid the sinful gaze. Imam Hanifa (RA), a wealthy merchant, owned a women’s clothing store and advised the clerk to be careful when dealing with women and lower the gaze and even beware of the gaze falling on the feet of the women when lowering! (This advice was given while all women were properly covered in the Islamic hijab/jilbab at that time.)

The famous tabi’een, Ibn Sireen (RA) said, “By Allah, I have never looked at (any woman) other than Umm Abdullah (his wife) in consciousness or while dreaming. I never saw a woman in my dream that I remembered she was not halal for me and I diverted my gaze from her.”[6]

Defending from the insinuations (waswas) of Shaytan. This waswas comes initially in the form of self-talk and suggestions. This self-talk, if not immediately and strongly repelled, develops into wishes. Then they get stronger and become wills. Then they get stronger and become dogged determination to do the thing desired. Removing the initial inner conceptions is easier than ridding of the impacts of things that already happened and refraining from relapsing to them.[7]

Now, let’s look at  spiritual solutions that can help us guard our chastity as well as kick other evil habits:

1. Increasing Eman in Allah ﷻ

Developing and strengthening our eman in Allah ﷻ and taqwa of Allah is the key to staying away from the forbidden, harmful things and this helps one tame his desires and prevents him from being driven into destruction by his desires.

When we do things to increase our eman, it naturally translates to increase in taqwa (fear of Allah) which makes us fear His punishment, knowing that He is All-Knowing, All-Seeing and All-Hearing and is watching us even if no one is around. Additionally, eman or faith entails belief in the heart, statement with the tongue and actions with the body parts. This third component includes doing all that The Law Giver has commanded us to do with our various body-parts and staying away from what He ﷻ has forbidden. A heart that houses piety and fear of Allah, a tongue that is moist with the remembrance of Allah a body that is constantly engaging in actions that please The Lord of The Universe will not be inclined to run after sins. “Indeed, he who fears Allah and is patient, then indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good." [12:90]

2. To love Allah ﷻ

Allah ﷻ says: “Tell them (O Muhammad), ‘If you truly love Allah follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is very Forgiving, Very Kind.” [3:31]

The Prophet ﷺ instructed Umar (ra) that one does not truly believe until he loves Allah and His messenger more than anybody else, including one’s own .[12]

Naturally, we cannot just claim to love Allah, but our actions have to prove that love. Allah ﷻ tells us that the road to Allah’s love is by obeying his messenger, which includes leaving what he ﷺ has forbidden us from. Our love for Allah should be more than the love for the particular enjoyable sin we are addicted to – be it women, drugs, alcohol, gambling, cigarette, music or the like. One is usually obedient to his beloved. So when one truly loves Allah, he or she refrains from sins due to affection for Him ﷻ.

3. To show gratitude to Allah’s grace and blessings through obedience

A right-minded person never rewards offensively to the one that does good to him. Allah’s graces and blessings descent upon man and he repays with sins and disobedience!

4. Taking Allah’s anger and vengeance into account

“So, those who violate his (messenger’s) order must beware, lest they are visited by a trial or they are visited by a painful punishment.” [24:63]

Man’s disobedience to Allah The Reckoner (Al-Haseeb) will either come back to haunt him in this world or the next or both. Regarding the cause of calamities that we experience, Allah ﷻ says:

“And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your (own) hands have earned.” [42:30]

And regarding punishment in the hereafter:

“And whoever disobeys Allah and His messengers, and transgresses His limits, He will cast him into the Fire, to abide therein; and he shall have a disgraceful torment.” [4:14]

5. Consider the grave danger of breaking the contract with Allah ﷻ

Man loses a great deal of prosperity in this life and the next by sins. One of the dangers of gradual accumulation of sins and disobedience is getting deviated from the straight path and losing eman – which is the most precious thing a man possesses. So reflect on how can one sacrifice it for a pleasure that takes a short while and leaves grace consequences? Prophet ﷺ said: “The adulterer is not a believer at the moment when he is committing adultery...”[13]

6. To ponder on the unexpected occurrence of death

The Ever-Living, The Sublime says:

“Every soul shall taste death…” [3:185]

“Whoever you maybe, death will overtake you, although you should be in fortified castle.” [4:78]

Whosoever Allah ﷻ has decreed death for in the Lawh Al-Mahfooz, The Angel of Death will come knocking their door without any warning.[14]

Imagine that our soul be taken away at the time we are engaged in the sin! The state we die is the most important as that would be an indicator of our ultimate destination – either in heaven or hell.  Shaytan works the hardest at the time of death because Allah ﷻ will forgive any sin except dying in a state of shirk. (As he successfully prevented the Prophet’s uncle – Abu Talib – from accepting Islam at the time of death). The thought should bring shudders and we should try to pray for a ‘good ending’ like our Prophet ﷺ did.

7. Man should purify his heart and cultivate it for the rain of salvation to descend

Emptying and cleansing the land are preconditions for salvation rain to descent and sound plants to grow. When man cleanses his heart of wicked intentions, desires and corrupt beliefs and sows the seeds of remembrance, meditation, affection and sincerity and awaits the rain of mercy, he becomes worthy of getting great graces from Al-Wahhab (The Bestower).

Because of man’s ignorance, he is deceived by the tangible pleasures and misses the superior invisible ones. If a servant cleanses and repairs his heart, he will experience wonders. Allah’s graces are obstructed by barriers contained in one’s character. So when these barriers are lifted, Allah’s favors come to him from all directions like water gushing forth from an opened dam, irrigating the barren lands.

8. Say basmalah before doing anything

Once one gets into the habit of starting any act by remembering Allah by saying ‘Bismillah’ or the relevant adhkar, it becomes automatic. So when he is about to engage in an evil act and habitually tries to say ‘Bismillah’, he would become shy not being able to say it to start the act and hence would aid in remembering and fearing Allah and leaving the act.

9. Remembering Akhirah

Pondering upon the afterlife and what awaits man once he dies would make him preoccupied in doing things that would help him retire comfortable in the blissful delights of paradise. One should connect with the Quran and ponder upon the verses talking about eternal blessings in Jannah such as the palaces made of bricks of gold and silver, sand of musk, rivers of honey, water wine and milk, the maidens, hoor al-ayn, of unimaginable beauty.

Conversely, remembering the awful dreadful punishment that awaits the wrongdoers – the burning raging hell fire shoes fuel is men and stones – should instil awe and fear, deterring one from engaging in sinful habits that risk him ending up in this dreadful place for eternity!

So the Islamic Rehab program starts with building up taqwa or God-consciousness, so that when the love of “God” becomes strong enough in the person, he/she becomes cognizant of where the habit is taking them towards, towards stern punishment in hell-fire – and that fear becomes strong enough, acts as a powerful motivational force to battle the inertia of relapsing and continuing in the habit.

[1] Al-Bukhaari 5889, Muslim 2657

[2] Al-Hakim (4/313) Al-Hakim said, "The chain of narration is

authentic." Al-Dhahabl commented on it, "I said: Ishaq and they judged 'Abdu'l-Rahman al-Wasitl as weak." [Awakening From The Sleep Of Headlessness - Ibn Al Jawzi] [Da’eef, at-Tabarani, 8/63; Ahmad, al-Musnad, 5/264.]

[3] Al-Qayyum  Pg. 74

[4] Al-Athari 2012, pg 544

[5] Bukhārī 4808; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2740

[6] Tarikh al baghdad, Khateeb Baghdadi V5, p 336  [via Al-Athari 2012, Pg. 545]

[7] Uddat al-Sabirin wa Dhakhirat al-Shakirin, Ibn al-Qayyim, Pg 79

[8] Sunan an-Nasa’i 3209, Graded Sahih by Darussalam

[9] Al-Qayyim  Pg. 74

[10] Sunan at-Tirmidhi 2378, Graded Sahih according to an-Nawawi

[11] Bukhari

[12] Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī (6257)

[13] al-Bukhaari (2475); Muslim (57)

[14] Iqbal Zaheer notes the following incidents in Ishraq Al-Mani, in tafseer of [4:78]:

“In our own times we have witnessed or heard several incidents that confirm our faith in this verse. For example, once a worker slipped off the roof of a high rise building near construction in Kuwait. People rushed down but no amount of search would yield his body. He just disappeared. An hour or so later, he appeared. They thought he was a ghost. He explained that he fell right into an open truck carrying foam sheets. The he said he would buy them all cool drinks in celebration of a new life granted. As he was crossing the street a vehicle hit him and he died on the spot. In another case, in Bangalore a hawk was carrying a snake. Perhaps it lost hold and dropped it to the ground. The snake fell on a man riding the back seat of a scooter. It bit him immediately and he died.”